by Anonymous Coward
Queen – dead
Prince Philip – dead
Charles – soft abdication of the throne, turbo cancer cover story
William – allegations of spousal abuse, doesn’t want to be king because he doesn’t want to be the head of The Church of England
Kate – wanted desperately to be queen, hospital cover story to take her out of the limelight, initially for 3 months now extended to 9 months
Camilla – has stated that she will no longer be performing official public duties
Andrew – allegations of ritualistic child abuse, multiple allegations of sex with minors, unable to assume position as head of state, forced into the shadows, also lied about his war service in the Falklands.
Anne – 78 years old, another illegitimate royal, son also illegitimate to hold office
Harry – he purged himself before all the shit hit the fan
Edward – abdicated his official royal positions on February 2nd, this year
What is going on?